How Much Did You Pay For That

3 min readFeb 15, 2023
Photo by Abdul Gani M on Unsplash

My brother and I were very close. We were best friends and shared everything. When he courted his wife, he frequently sent her flowers, read poetry to her, and showered her with all of the little gestures that women consider romantic. When they got engaged, she said she didn’t want a diamond ring, because, in her frugal opinion, it was a bad investment. Thinking like a romantic man, he got her one anyway. One day he told me that the men he worked with were so stupid. They didn’t know how to romance their girlfriends and wives. I told him he should tell them how. Heck, no, he replied. I’m not giving away my secrets. I thought that was hilarious.

I was married for 26 years to the most unromantic man on earth. I know a lot of you ladies reading this are saying the same thing. My ex never brought home flowers or candy or even bought me a birthday present. He invented cheap. There’s frugal and there’s cheap. He invented cheap.

After many years of marriage, I told him that I wanted a box of Sees Candy for Valentine’s Day. If you’ve never had Sees Candy, you’ve never had chocolate. I wasn’t trying to show him how to be romantic. I just wanted Sees Candy, and besides, if you have to tell your husband to buy you a box of candy it isn’t romantic. He bought the candy while complaining to the kids that it was a capitalistic rip-off.

The kids and I always made a big deal out of his birthday and Father’s Day. I never got a birthday present in 26 years of marriage. What I got every year was him saying — I feel bad that I couldn’t afford to get you a birthday present. After about 23 years of hearing this, I said — get me what you get every year — nothing. He swore that wasn’t true.

My best friend, Laura, and I were discussing our unromantic husbands one day and we both agreed that it would be nice if they bought us some flowers just because they thought we were worth it.

Laura shared this story with me: One day she and another friend were at the shopping mall. They spotted a beautiful, sexy nightgown in a store. They bought the same nightgown with plans of modeling it as a romantic gesture to their husbands. Laura saw her friend, who was rather heavy, a couple of weeks later and asked her how her husband liked the nightgown. Oh, he loved it was her reply.




A free spirit, visual artist, writer, editor, animal lover, introvert, blogger and independent woman.