I want to tell you it was an accident and it's time to forgive yourself, but I'm sure that's easier said than done. I don't see how you were driving recklessly. The sun was in your eyes. Did you know Laura Bush killed a friend when she ran a stop sign? She was 16 years old. Heather French, a Miss America from Louisville, Kentucky, killed a woman on a bicycle in an intersection because the sun was in her eyes. Those women also carry that with them. You won't forget this trauma, but you will get over it and feel joy again.