Trying Out Pot for the First Time at the Age of 71
I’ve never been a party girl. It’s something that never appealed to me. It’s not in my genes. I tried smoking cigarettes when I was 12 years old. I got sick to my stomach, puked, and wondered why anyone would want to smoke. I didn’t go to Woodstock or hang out with the hippies at Haight Ashbury in San Francisco. I failed hippie 101.
After reaching 71 without experiencing the things that my generation considers fun, I accidentally, or sort of unknowingly, had my first experience with Cannabis. It happened like this:
I moved to Mexico about five months ago. When I got here alone, I knew I needed to reach out to people to make friends. Close to where I live, a group of Boomers meet at a restaurant every Monday night to play trivia. I join them and act as a floater. I’ve gone five times and fill in at tables where a player is missing. The maximum number of players is six.
On this particular evening, I sat down with two ladies I had never met before. I arrived early for dinner, and they arrived early for drinking. From the looks of them, I think they started long before I got there. We introduced ourselves to each other, and I listened as they chatted. I’m changing the names to protect the guilty.
Mary: I made some brownies last night.
Jane: I made chocolate candy last week. It turned out great!
Mary: Do you want some brownie.
I wasn’t paying too much attention when Mary offered me a pinch of brownie. I hesitated at first and said sure. I took a pinch about the size of a quarter. As I’m pinching it off, I’m thinking, why just a pinch why not a whole brownie? My next thought was maybe it was “that kind” of brownie.
While chewing it, I’m commenting that it tastes different. I didn’t feel anything different, so I thought it must not be “that kind” of brownie.
The trivia game started, and after I don’t know how many minutes, it hit me. I felt dizzy; my body felt heavy and wobbly. I grabbed a slip of paper and wrote Was there really weed in that brownie?
I shoved it across the table to Mary and Jane. I watched as they read it. You thought I was joking? Yelled Jane. I thought you knew.
They both burst out laughing. I don’t think I’ve seen two people laugh so hard since I saw It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World at a movie theater when I was 14 years old. Luckily, I have a good sense of humor and thought it was hilarious, too. I’m too old to be embarrassed by my stupidity.
At that moment, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get up and walk. I hoped that it would wear off before the game ended and everyone started going home. I moved and thought in slow motion. The group didn’t get much help from me, although I did get one question right that none knew. It was something about a man named Walter who ran for U.S. President in 1984. The other five people at my table were from Canada and had no idea. That was Walter Mondale, of course.
When the time came to go home, I stood up slowly and discovered I was right; I could barely walk. I wobbled over to a pole and clung to it. Luckily, I came with a friend; otherwise, I don’t know how I would have gotten home. Someone asked me if they could help in any way. I told them to go inside the restaurant and get my friend, Janet. She came outside and took one look at me.
After I explained what happened, she wanted to know where the two ladies were at. Luckily, they had already left because she wanted to give them a piece of her mind. I tried to explain that they didn’t do it on purpose. They thought I knew what it was. “It’s just that I’m naive and stupid,” I explained. Janet wasn’t buying it. She thought it was awful that they did that to me, anyway.
I’ve told this story to other friends, and I can’t make them understand that these ladies didn’t do it on purpose. I still think it’s funny that I could be so dumb.
As I said, I’ve never been a party girl. I just don’t see the fun in getting drunk or stoned. By the way, Mexico had just made Cannabis legal a week before this incident. I think Jane and Mary had been baking brownies and making chocolate candy long before that.